An Almost Free Giveaway!

When it comes to this blog, I have only recently discovered how much of a thrill I get when I see comments or other people another person subscribing to me.

At first, I was as cool as a cucumber, believing that this was more of an online diary for *me* to post what I wanted, regardless of having other people read it. I didn't care. It was for me. I was like the Kristen Stewart of blogging.

And then, I started seeing people comment! I watched with anxious eyes and bated breath as my hits slowly climbed, forced, in part, by my constant facebook cry-for-attention pandering.

I have realized, as a writer, that I mostly do not write things for me. Call me crazy, but I like to write things that will be read. By other people. Actually, I would like a job doing something of that very nature.

This has brought me to two conclusions:

1. maybe if people read like follow me, eventually, someone will want to pay me to write something, and

2. I need more followers and/or comments to be relevant enough for this to happen.

My God! you're thinking, doesn't she have any pride? Shame, perhaps?

My answer to you is: no. No, I do not.

My conclusions have also brought me to an even more disgraceful plan of action. Put simply, bribery.

For every person that follows or comments on this blog post, I will write a personalized haiku. Here is an example of my poetic skillz:

I do not want fame,

I just want a writing job

Because my job sucks.

Or perhaps something like this little gem:

I think that zombies

Should take human brain jerky

On all camping trips.

That's right, kids. One of these precious 17 syllable treasures could be your very own! All you have to do is show me some internet love. Ready, set, go!