The Average Recap!

Okay, as it turns out, I'm not dead. I sort of thought I was on Monday when my epic death plague hangover triggered an equally epic death migraine, but long story short, my absence from my little blogiverse has been a result of various important other things, like EM's birthday a week or so ago. Also, it's summer, and as we all know, summer is the time when the surrounding heat creeps into your body and leeches into your brain like, "Hey! It's hot! We don't want to do anything! Screw laundry! Screw grocery shopping! Screw responsibility! This is beer drinkin' weather and we're going to make you too lethargic to get off your lazy, sweaty butt and accomplish anything. Even blogging, the laziest of all writing exercises. Not. Gonna. Do. It."

Additionally, the sad facts are that I haven't really had much entertainment to share. Eharmony guy, music journalist guy and hot musician have pretty much gone the way of the buffalo, TOL and I are still on pleasant but ever-more-distant terms (good... I guess?), work is still as soul-sucking as it was last month and most of my extra writing has been funneled into one larger project approved by the Writer's Workshop of Death (inclusive of MEH and Friend With Great Hair). EM and EM's boyfriend are still doing well and planning on visiting EM's boyfriend's family in the nether regions of the States in July which will most likely leave me bored and alone in the apartment for a month, but also able to sit around in my underwear without fear of impropriety or social repercussion.

Ahh, stability - a blessing and a curse.

To Recap:

1. The Average Broad: not dead.

2. Everything is pretty much the same.

3. Oh, I think I'm gonna get a bbq this weekend. Omg. BBQ. ::swoon::

4. Have you ever seen banana flavored ice cream? I don't think I have, but I wonder what it would be like to have a banana flavored banana split.

5. Also, I'm going to learn to surf this summer. Hell yes.

Before I tell you my name, I'd actually rather you didn't talk to me.

Okay, let's try this one more time.

For me, feelings of extreme sadness are fleeting. I'm easily distractable. EM text-convinced me to go get margaritas at Chili's happy hour, and I'm thinking today is the perfect day for them.

Other random distractable things:
- I'm wearing my pirate boots today, but one of the heels squeaks a bit when I walk. It's annoying, but I love my boots so much I kind of don't care it sounds like a horror movie basement scene whenever I return to the coffee machine.
- I decided that I'm going to suck up my fear of feet phobias and get a pedicure before I go to the BeHills store for my dream Loubs.
- I'm going to go shopping this weekend and fix the disaster that is my wardrobe. I keep thieving EM's sweater and I think it longs to be back in her side of the apartment. It will need a replacement before this happens.
- I voiced my creative rut problems to a friend who lunched in my office today, and he gave me some really great suggestions: clean your room (clean your mind), relax and take a breather (thank you, shopping trip of future), and do something fun. Maybe if I'm not too drunk tonight, I'll start cleaning my room or writing my short story for the Writer's Workshop of Death.
- My hair refuses to behave and I need to do something with it. Maybe pick a new color... and fight the urge to chop it all off.

There might be more to this post later, again... depending on how drunk I get. Let's hope I don't get drunk enough to text TOL. Quel disastre!

In other news, two sales execs in my office just prank called the corporate office, and my boss yelled at me about not eating enough fruit.