Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How do I get myself in these situations?

Being a female music journalist often brings you to the limits of your sense of morals and ethics, because you are often confronted with very difficult choices. It can be difficult, on occasion, to present an interview or a review in a frank and unbiased manner when you canNOT stop thinking about how cute the guitar player is and if he fancies Guinness just as much as you do. Fortunately, I swore off dating musicians long ago and have never been so distracted by musician hotness that it has compromised my craft or my sense of journalistic ethics, but I do sometimes wander into "gray" area.

Earlier this year, J.R. and I interviewed an up-and-coming rock band composed of all beautiful, charming men. Since they happen to live a hop, skip, and a jump away from me, the interview of course progressed into the lot of us talking about meeting up and drinking together. This has not yet happened, but since it has been months since J.R. or I have written anything about this band, we feel that it is now within the realm of possibility to hang out with these beautiful, charming men in a not-so-professional capacity.

The other evening while procrastinating, I spent some time Facebook-chatting with one of the beautiful, charming men and proceeded to inquire about the lack of drinking happening between all of us. There was a lot of good-natured challenging and jokes, which seemed to degenerate into a really weird conversation:

TAB: Oh, hey! Did you see the pictures of MutualFriend's puppy? They melted my heart!

Hot Musician: No, I'd rather have an unmelted heart, thanks.

TAB: (Sends picture of cutest puppy) MELT, DAMN YOU!

Hot Musician: (Laughs at me) Okay, you're right. It's pretty cute.

TAB: HA! Now I will tell all your screaming female fans that I melted the heart of Hot "Freezer Burn" Musician with a picture of a puppy.

Hot Musician: Ha! That has got to be my new nickname!

TAB: Oh, I'm already using it, Freezer Burn. And do you realize how many amazing pick up lines I just gave you?

Hot Musician: So many.

TAB: So many. I have a burgeoning career as a wingwoman. You should pay me.

Hot Musician: Is that something you're proud of?

TAB: What, that I want money for my wit or that I have a career in the sidelines?

Hot Musician: That you have a career in the sidelines!

TAB: You know, I've spent more than my fair share in the dating game and here on the sidelines, I don't have to worry about my date's prison-mandated ankle bracelet, whether or not he's really married or if he's going to run away from me when I try to kiss him. The sidelines are fun, and have beer.

Hot Musician: (Laughing at me, yet again) Please tell me none of those have every happened to you.

TAB: Oh, Freezer Burn, all of those have happened to me.

After this, there was more joking followed by Hot Musician leaving mid-conversation. I am pretty sure that this does not really bode well for me, considering I would love to make out with Hot Musician and I unintentionally made myself look like a dating leper. J.R. and I still have plans to go out drinking with these fellows, but now I'm kind of unsure about it because they are like the cool kids in high school that always sort of tolerated me but never really found me irresistibly charming enough to ask to the dance... We'll see. If anything, at least there will be whiskey.

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